With the thrilling discovery that one enjoys the submission side of BDSM, many an eager sub finds him/herself longing to be “trained” by a Dominant. Lucky for their Doms, manuals on submissive training abound on book-selling sites. Some of these manuals are good, and some are bad (and badly written). Yet, all are incomplete with [...]
How long have you been practicing BDSM and D/s? What drew you to it? When I was about 14 or 15, I had a boyfriend who was into wearing leather, and we got the idea to try to tie each other up. We’d basically switch back and forth, but I remember being very drawn to that sexually, the being tied up. From then on, I knew I was [...]
“There is a flaw at the heart of D/s,” I’d often say in the early days of my Dominance/submission explorations with my husband. The flaw, in my mind, lay within the open-ended nature of consent. I felt that if I had a choice to revoke my submission at any time, whether by using a safeword [...]
If you were to rely on television and film as a guide to how BDSM impacts one’s soul, it wouldn’t be a pretty picture. Kink is used as shorthand for moral downfall, and most every kinky character onscreen is either part of some Satanic cult, or is a sadistic serial killer, or a heartless politician, [...]
In the first years of our D/s relationship, my Daddy Dom husband and I gave scant attention to the concept of aftercare, no matter how kinky we got in the bedroom. Yes, we constantly came across the advice to finish up BDSM play with a period of aftercare, often hearing it described as an “integral” [...]
How long have you two been into BDSM? What got you interested? JJ: Sometimes I don’t know if we can say we belong to the BDSM community, even though we go to events and have a lot of friends in the community. We enjoy kinky things, like spankings and flogging and light bondage, but we [...]
You’re a Dominant. How did you get started in BDSM? I was already well into middle age when I started seeing a woman, an ex-girlfriend actually, pretty much out of boredom. As you might expect, the relationship wasn’t going very well, and I was thinking it was probably time to end it. But one night we [...]
The discovery of power exchange and BDSM set my marriage on sexual fire and swept up my husband and I in a wave of more honest communication, deeper intimacy, unbreakable trust, and more liberated love. We deeply wished we had discovered our D/s dynamic sooner, and I often felt angry that this path to unlocking [...]
BDSM is an umbrella term that shelters a nearly endless array of kinks and fetish behavior. Lately, the alleged cannibalism fetish of the actor Armie Hammer has been all over the Internet, but there are plenty of others: puppy play, knife play, Shibari, feminization, and controlled chastity to name just a few. Just when you [...]
In my first foray into BDSM, it was my pain-loving “submissive” boyfriend who put a whip in my hand and begged me to use it on him. Being what I have always called “sexually game,” I gave it a try. I was not a fan of whacking him, not at first, I winced the entire [...]
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