You’re a Dominant. How did you get started in BDSM? I was already well into middle age when I started seeing a woman, an ex-girlfriend actually, pretty much out of boredom. As you might expect, the relationship wasn’t going very well, and I was thinking it was probably time to end it. But one night we [...]
The discovery of power exchange and BDSM set my marriage on sexual fire and swept up my husband and I in a wave of more honest communication, deeper intimacy, unbreakable trust, and more liberated love. We deeply wished we had discovered our D/s dynamic sooner, and I often felt angry that this path to unlocking [...]
BDSM is an umbrella term that shelters a nearly endless array of kinks and fetish behavior. Lately, the alleged cannibalism fetish of the actor Armie Hammer has been all over the Internet, but there are plenty of others: puppy play, knife play, Shibari, feminization, and controlled chastity to name just a few. Just when you [...]
In my first foray into BDSM, it was my pain-loving “submissive” boyfriend who put a whip in my hand and begged me to use it on him. Being what I have always called “sexually game,” I gave it a try. I was not a fan of whacking him, not at first, I winced the entire [...]
Early in 2020, I dressed up for a what I thought would be a fun night in a well-known dungeon in Los Angeles. A group of about 50 people were there, a large fraction of them heading over from a nearby conference on sex positivity. For many, it was their first experience in a BDSM [...]
In planning this site, I was sure I’d never review BDSM fiction. First, because that is not our focus, and there are plenty of other BDSM-themed sites devoted to nothing but reviews of books and products. Second, because it is all but impossible to find quality erotica or fiction about kink that is worth one’s [...]
As the editor of a soon-to-launch BDSM advocacy site, my Google alert for “BDSM” has daily presented me the saga of the actor Armie Hammer, a would-be Marquis de Sade who allegedly wants to make sexual slaves of his girlfriends, and gets off on the idea of consuming pieces of their flesh. “I am 100% [...]
The question: Is BDSM and power exchange a sexual orientation in the way that homosexuality or bisexuality clearly is? Or is interest in kink a choice, like one chooses a hobby? The debate on whether BDSM relationships are the result of an orientation or a leisure activity has been going on for more than a [...]
