The South Korean rom-com, Love and Leashes, hit Netflix in early February and I was equally keen and reluctant to view it. The chance to watch a movie explicitly about BDSM is a rare thing; we don’t often get to see our bedroom predilection depicted onscreen, but when BDSM does pop up, it is more likely to be a cringe-inducing misunderstanding of kink, in which a predilection for the giving and receiving of pain is considered shorthand for a twisted psychology. So, what a wonderful relief to come across and light and frothy presentation of a couple discovering the pleasures of a BDSM relationship.
When the lovely Ji-woo (Seo-hyun) accidentally opens a package containing a BDSM collar meant for her office mate, Ji-hoo, the two embark on an earnest exploration of a D/s relationship. Lee-Junyoung, the wide-eyed actor who plays Ji-hoo, convincingly portrays the giddiness of discovering a “master” who will satisfy his long-hidden submissive desires. Meanwhile, his counterpart is movingly seduced by the sensual satisfactions of inflicting torments on her eager sub. Because each character is new to the dynamic, the movie decides to follow them as they research their roles and refreshingly presents BDSM in a straightforward, no-nonsense light. Many of the conflicts are based on genuine challenges to a BDSM life — will I be defined by doing this? Will people treat me differently if they know? And what few quibbles I have with the depiction of Dom and sub — such as a new Dominant who is so unsure of herself that she continually apologizes and lets her sub do a lot of “topping from the bottom” — are also typical of a new D/s relationship.
Some of the dialogue and office situations are admittedly silly and hackneyed, but I found that somehow in keeping with the tone of the absurd, madcap adventure that defines the taboo-toppling world of BDSM play. Scenes in which Ji-hoo finally gets to wear his collar and indulge in some puppy roleplay, or when Ji-woo drags him around their office in a humiliation game, had me laughing in delight. When the movie stepped too far away from play time it did drag, especially toward an overly drawn-out end with the requisite rom-com misunderstandings between the leads. And there is an odd assumption stated throughout that being D/s play partners is somehow at odds with romance or being in a committed sexual relationship (huh?). But overall, this movie beautifully expresses, in bright candy colors and soulful gazes, the deep love and life-affirming joy that can be found in a BDSM relationship. If only the creators of 50 Shades of Grey had a fraction of that understanding.
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