In my very first BDSM relationship, I was the Dominant. Well, I played the role of Dominant anyway, dressing up in leather, whirling a flogger over my head, giving my masochistic boyfriend frequent beatings … and growing very irritated when he didn’t do what I told him. Aren’t you supposed to be my submissive? I’d [...]
How to Train Your Dominant
With the thrilling discovery that one enjoys the submission side of BDSM, many an eager sub finds him/herself longing to be “trained” by a Dominant. Lucky for their Doms, manuals on submissive training abound on book-selling sites. Some of these manuals are good, and some are bad (and badly written). Yet, all are incomplete with [...]
D/s and the Spiritual Journey
If you were to rely on television and film as a guide to how BDSM impacts one’s soul, it wouldn’t be a pretty picture. Kink is used as shorthand for moral downfall, and most every kinky character onscreen is either part of some Satanic cult, or is a sadistic serial killer, or a heartless politician, [...]
BDSM is not a sexual orientation. D/s is.
The question: Is BDSM and power exchange a sexual orientation in the way that homosexuality or bisexuality clearly is? Or is interest in kink a choice, like one chooses a hobby? The debate on whether BDSM relationships are the result of an orientation or a leisure activity has been going on for more than a [...]