When Dominant and submissive work together to reprogram their brains toward a power exchange dynamic, there are a number of tools available to them, from operant conditioning to classical conditioning, along with different types of voluntary “brainwashing.” Still another way to rewire the mind is through the purposeful use of mental triggers that work like [...]
When we enter a power exchange relationship for the first time, we have a lot of mental reprogramming to do to create a path for ourselves away from the societal rules most of learned about equality between partners. It is not all that easy to drop our cultural conditional conditioning toward parity. Both Dominant and [...]
A conversation about cohabitation in power exchange with the most traditional Dominant I know ... the sub: I discovered D/s with my husband two weeks into our marriage. It was such an intense rush of discovery that we talked about it incessantly, experimented wildly, and fell so hard in love with each other in these [...]
A Dom/sub conversation about subby tears with the most traditional Dom I know … the sub: When it comes to BDSM play such as impact, I have enjoyed a decent pain tolerance, at least if there’s enough of a gradual build for my brain to release all those lovely endorphins that help me along. Once [...]
As someone happily immersed in a BDSM dynamic for the past ten years, I was thrilled to hear about the release of Nicole Kidman’s “Babygirl,” in which she plays a successful CEO of a tech company who enters a power exchange relationship with a younger man. With such a well-lauded actor in the lead role, [...]
When a couple first embarks on a BDSM adventure, they might buy a pair of furry handcuffs or a flogger, then jump in, whacking at each other and generally having a great time experimenting with different kinky activities. What a great start! But eventually, if a couple is gratified by wading into power exchange waters, [...]
A Dom/sub conversation about negotiating power exchange with the most traditional Dom I know ... the sub: When I first came up with the idea of writing a blog post I wanted to call, “How to Train Your Dominant,” I thought it was a cute tongue-in-cheek way to get attention and a click. After all, [...]
Back in the 1960s and ‘70s, when the Leather community anchored in San Francisco was pretty much inventing modern BDSM, it was taken for granted that a would-be Dominant would begin training for power exchange by first serving as a submissive to a mentor Dom. After all, how could Dominants learn to control the submissive [...]
A Dom and sub walk into a bar ... and have a conversation. Well, okay, we weren’t in a bar, Robert (the Dom) and I (the sub) were in separate cities emailing each other. It is always interesting to look at a power exchange issue from both sides of the D/s slash. Such as a [...]
In weighing the frequently-asked question whether a Dominant can be considered “good” or “bad,” a submissive can easily find articles all over the Internet will list the different characteristics and qualities of a good Dom, such as confidence, creativity, consistency, self-awareness, etc. Certainly, naturally dominant characteristics are advantages when assessing the quality of a Dominant. [...]
